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Q: In Über/Chrononauts, how many paradoxes per row will blow up the universe if I have my timeline laid out with other than eight cards per row?

A: Luckily for you, fan Ryan Hackel asked himself this very question, and did the math to find out the answer! See his answer below:

In UberChrononauts, the universe is destroyed if, at any time, there are 13 paradoxes within any four consecutive rows of the timeline. (This is especially important to Crazy Joe, the Lost ID who wins by crashing the universe.)

But, if your game table is like mine, it has a hard time holding all 64 timeline cards in the traditional 8×8 arrangement (69 with the Gore Years). More often than not, I have to arrange the timeline in a different configuration to make it fit conveniently, with 9, 10, or even 12 cards per row as the table size dictates.

But wait, if I change the number of rows, it also messes with the number of possible paradoxes in each row. If there are more or less than 8 cards per row, the magic number 13 for timeline collapse is no longer valid!

So, I’ve done the math. For timeline configurations between 6 and 14 cards per row, I counted the number of Ripplepoints per row (always with the Gore Years included). Then I summed up the number of Ripplepoints per every set of four consecutive rows, and took an average. Then I compared the average Ripplepoint density against that of the usual 8-per-row timeline, and scaled the magic 13 accordingly.

Results:

6 cards per row = 9 paradoxes within four rows
7 cards per row = 11 paradoxes within four rows
8 cards per row = 13 paradoxes within four rows
9 cards per row = 14 paradoxes within four rows
10 cards per row = 16 paradoxes within four rows
11 cards per row = 17 paradoxes within four rows
12 cards per row = 19 paradoxes within four rows
13 cards per row = 20 paradoxes within four rows
14 cards per row = 23 paradoxes within four rows

Note that the number of paradoxes is approximately 1.6x the number of cards per row, in case you need a quick rule of thumb.

Q: How does Crazy Joe work in ÜberChrononauts?

A: In regular Chrononauts, the game ends immediately if the Universe is destroyed, with everyone losing – unless Crazy Joe was in the game, in which case he wins. However, in UberChrononauts, the game wouldn’t be able to continue if Crazy Joe meets his goal, and since the UberGoal requires you to accomplish more than just your character’s conditions, the universe needs to be kept from collapsing in order for the game to work.

Fortunately, there’s this special team of Time Police agents, who have been pursuing Crazy Joe across the timestream for eons, who will suddenly show up to solve this problem if it occurs.

Here’s what happens: Crazy Joe is credited with having destroyed the Universe, which teeters on the brink of destruction but doesn’t actually collapse. (The player keeps the ID card face up on the table thereafter, indicating that this part of the UberGoal is complete.) Then the Time Police rule described below is used to put the TimeLine back in order enough for the game to continue. (And while they’re busy keeping Time intact, Crazy Joe gets away scot-free! Laughing maniacally, of course.)

The Time Police Rule:
If the Universe is on the brink of destruction, and it would be awkward for the game to end without an actual winner, a special team of Time Police agents will suddenly step in to save the universe. This is done by giving all players an imaginary Restore History card, which each player must immediately use in turn on the Red Linchpin of their choice. After everyone has done their share of repair work, the Time Police will vanish and the game continues as usual with the next player. But the Time Police will not return. If the Universe is destroyed a second time, it really does get destroyed, and all players are considered losers.